rut.

the days go by without any changes

minor abrupt 

that tend to dissipate as time goes by

heavy eyelids, empty stomach

drops of water, and orange juice

mixing variety of meals 

while craving buffalo wild wings at green turtle

losing connections and coherence

yet seeking the thin line between transition and entrance

only to fulfill society's expectations

start line.

first class of the day at six-pm sharp

revolving around this particular class

     yet, no teacher in sight

nibbling on my half-grown nails

checking my phone frantically

watching fifteen-twenty minutes go by

reading previous class notes on board

      'anti-oedipus', 'capitalism' and 'schizophrenia'

      'kafka' and 'what is philosophy?'

nothing i should care about at the moment

      besides wondering why the hell did kafka decide

      to turn his main character into a bug!

i should have paid more attention.

or check my email more often to know 

class has been moved to another building.

six/eight.

i got this.

manic.

a good night's rest and something to calm my mind

soft hair, cotton, and leather boots

steaming cup of black coffee and a slice of bread and butter

growing nails and cold seeping through my windows

moments in which i no longer trust anyone

obscuring the future during sleepless nights

when love has become just another cup of stale coffee

and interests rely on objects.

red. brown. white. purple. black.

tiny soul.

for my lovely baby cousin, Amisha.

re-solution.

1. produce new artwork.

2. stop saying 'whatever' so often.

3. no tea three hours before i sleep.

4. stop being a potty-mouth.

5. take a belly dancing class. 

6. stop biting my nails.

7. learn how to drive. 

8. take some portrait fotos.

9. let go of the-unmentionable.

... to be continued. or not